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Have you forgiven?
forgotten?
Remembered that awful moment…
Dwelled in anger on the cusp of…

Stomping about,
making a point,
talked…
more than you listened…
or,
remembered accurately.

You are beautiful,
you just keep getting,
the herd dust in your eye?…

Look again…
on another shelf?
on another self?
Bull… stomping…
in a China shop?
playing with meaningless cliches…
as a substitute for,
meaning?

Awesome experience,
this life,
hey?

Get to live and die,
if you choose…
in your heaven,
or your own hell.

Get a choice…
blessed with choice,
and what a choice…
Heaven lying at your feet,
contradictions, messages,
no mean feat…

How do I get outta here?
there’s no getting outta here,
‘A - Dead’ apparently…

You only get…
the ever inter-connected choice,
an elephant in the herd,
rubbing trunks with those you love…
but what a blessing.

Permission to write,
meaningless,
self-centred meanderings,
anywhere,
anytime,
cliches included,
in an out of date 60’s…
‘lack of poetry’ style…

Meaningless trash?
but fun?
An awkward baby elephant,
tripping over ones own,
now very old,
and circular,
heavy footsteps…

More fun is in order?
It should arrive,
from Amazon tomorrow?…

Credit crunch excluded…

With thanks to BBC TV listings,
the Eagles,
Bob… again,
and a de-ranged mind I borrowed…
from my Karma :)

Have you ever looked?

Have you ever seen…

A bear on a rocky Alaskan mountain side hunting moths?

A glacier spreading its feet,
through a Himalayan valley…
from space?

Have you ever looked?
Will you look?
Before you die?

When will you die?
How long will you live?
Is your current delusion,
your only illusion?

Are you already dead?

Breathing yes,
Participating, no?

Truthful, yes?
Living amongst the lying, no?
Caring, yes?
Ego-less, yes?
Self generated drama?
Fully determined selfishness?

Boring yourself,
and others,
with your minor,
and petty,
innocuous uselessnesses?

The snow falls.
A snow leopard climbs.
A volcanic mountain rises,
A river eroded mountain canyon crumbles.

In a million to one chance…
you were conceived,
born,
and immediately began your…
inexorable journey to death.

A child of the Universe.
You are gifted with choice.
Your God.
Your Illusion.
Your Truth.
Your choice,
to test your truths.

Have you ever seen…
A world free of anger, delusion, illusion?
Have you ever looked?
Can you see the Snow Leopard feeding her cubs…

On Christmas Eve…

Another year, another partially cold day in Norfolk - a long way away from my desert roots in the South of Australia - a dry barren, and beautiful, landscape at this time of year.

Summertime in South Australia is pretty special - the Galahs and Sulpher Crested cockatoos en-masse looking for water, creating one hell of a ‘din, and doing their level best to re-arrange the gums trees into configurations that more suit their purposes…. Looking forward to 40 degree days when you can definitely drink as much as you like and pretty much sweat it out simultaneously as you put it in…

I broke my glasses this morning. What luck to do it on the 24th of December when you and I know there is very little chance of getting anything done… :)  I wear glasses always and the world goes into a vaguely impressionist state of ill-focus when I don’t have them on…

Strangely enough those glasses mean’t something to me too. I’ve had them since 2001 when my girlfriend at the time, quite helpfully, but unplanned, happened to be an an Optometrist.

In the Christmas spirit Eric’s local Optometrist’s were fantastically helpful and after the initial - ’sheesh! what can we do today?’ moment - they managed to find a pair of lenses matching my prescription which could be cut into a new pair of frames. So I am the proud new owner of a goovy pair of black framed ’secretaries glasses’ but without the body bumps in the right places to match :)

The Christmas spirit…

I’ve spent Christmas in some lovely and weird places, with some lovely and/or weird people :) Latterly its been quite family focussed. I actually spent Christmas with my parents in 2006 for the first time in I don’t know how long…

I also have memories of Christmas on the balcony in Canberra cooking prawns on the BBQ, a Christmas day spent literally on a Boeing 747 flying England to Australia, and a Christmas in Darwin a seemingly very long time ago…

A friend down the street dropped in a little package of goodies for Eric today - Apple juice, shortbread… And the nice man who cleans Eric’s windows and has been his ‘partner in crime’ on the Downham Market town sign for the last decade dropped a great ‘bell ringers’ Christmas card this afternoon.

It’s difficult to avoid memories at this time of year… how lucky we all are as human beings… the longer on the planet the more experience has passed…

Oh Ye, on Christmas Eve, synapses fire…

Merry Christmas!

and just in case you need to Track Santa on Google Earth :) (via Nigel)

Just different…

It was contrived but beautiful. The vista from left to right was of the tallest, greenest, trees you have ever seen. I wonder if they are deciduous? Summer time, of course, is no time to ask such questions.

Because now with the sun full, and high overhead, all one could really see was an ocean of green dappled light in the under croft of a magnificent forest.

Twinkling lights seemed to be flitting about in the canopy as I wandered closer. I could hear conversation.

“I think it beastly how the goblins have behaved lately…”

“You do? In what regard?”

“In the matter of credit default swaps”

“Oh that… in the matter of risks involved with mortgage-backed security derivatives I’m afraid I am quite ignorant…”

With not another word, the two fairies alighted, and flew off, aglow, into the distance.

There was a little boy standing beside me.
He looked up at me and grinned.
And we walked off, hand in hand, into the forest.

I awoke.

Just another…

Self absorbed fuck-wit,
among the 6 billion or so.
Burning mother-god’s resources…
like they are,
‘Burgers to go’.

Just another…
egoist,
on the rail-road to self-hell,
pretending ‘one’ matters,
in one’s own self-absorbed shell.

Just another…
loser.
Meaning looking for…
loss.
Missing the connection,
and, drowning in…
another days,
dreary dross.

Just another,
pretender.
Feymann you ain’t.
But you never had to be…
a contender,
a compulsive,
a repulsive.
Suicide boats to heaven…
never dock with integrity.

Just another…
‘you could have been’,
‘would have done’,
‘powdered up’, or
‘dusted down’…
Shame about,
the wasted time.

Just another,
passing through…
Temporary licence to humanity,
such extraordinariness, and
sadly missed hues.

Get to fuck yourself over,
time and again.
Prove you can’t make the grade,
or pull the cord.
And then kamikaze on…
your own guilt edged sword.

Oh, goody…
Just another…

a “doin’ the blues” day obviously…
just as easy to see the “flip-side” ala…
Is already Awesome” or somebody else’s like “Leaf and Stream

Constant Verbiage

Talking is a little fraught really isn’t it?

Personally I’d be happy to admit that I could ‘talk for England’, as they say…
John Francis
But I doubt this is a very positive personal trait and I’m fully aware it does little, to nothing, for developing ones listening skills. I’ll also admit I’ve never tested the alternative practice (silence) seriously…

John Francis on the other hand has. I recently saw a ‘BBC Hardtalk’ interview with John Francis as a guest - amazing. Of course that will disappear off IPlayer very soon…

But if you have 20 minutes to spare for inspiration I can heartily recommend an injection of John’s infectious positiveness and wisdom via this TED Talk.

Dreamy Mare

Jackie and Peggy
Great news story on BBC today - 12 year old mare who apparently had, for the last couple of years, been having a pint of John Smith’s and a packet of pickled onion crisps (only in the UK :P) with her owner in a Jarrow pub has been ‘banned’ - well the bar has just been refurb’d with new carpets ‘n all…

Says owner Jackie: “People come into the pub and the first thing they say is ‘Where’s Peggy?’ - I tell them she’s kicked the habit and is teetotal now.”

Skipping sideways…

Watching “God and Buddha - a dialogue (1999) - Deepak Chopra & Robert Thurman” (video online) - which incidentally isn’t quite what I expected, or quite a dialogue either  - but still interesting, and I particularly liked Deepak Chopra’s explanation of the Vedanta tradition’s way of looking at ‘dream states’. Roughly, (please forgive any inaccuracies I might introduce through brevity or ignorance here) there are three states:

1) Rational mind - your concious day time mind, “the rational mind weaving stories around your ‘karmic software’”, what we all call everyday experience;

2) Dreams - at night, your rational mind is asleep, but your conciousness is still using your ‘karmic software’ to make stories out of your ‘thoughts’. The assertion is then that the ‘mechanics’ of these two states is the same. And we all know that you get really ‘caught up’, or ‘lose yourself’, in dreams - so much so that it isn’t until you wake up that you realise that that story was in a ‘dream state’…; and

3) Then a circular possibility is that if you “peel back the layers of your soul” - searching for truth and reality - the Vedantic path - seeking enlightenment - that you may ‘awaken’ from even the first state and realise that that was just another ‘dream state’ too…

Appeals to my intellectual ‘wetware’ - I think it’s a lovely concept :)

DVB, AVI and DVD

Acronyms are going to be your ’stock and trade’ if you want to understand the digital video space…

Video Mania

This is going to be my 3 (5?, 15? :-P) minute guide to various tasks I generally need and the software (some free) one needs to do them…

OK, rushing right along…

If you have:

  • an original DVD you want to ’squish’ and backup to a DVD-R (4.7GB) you need DVDShrink
  • an AVI (DivX, XviD etc usually sourced from Internet, a friend, or wherever) which you want convert onto a DVD to give to someone who only has a standard DVD player you need ConvertXtoDVD (ok, not free, this one will set you back £30 but is the simplest tool in its class)
  • a DVB class recording (ala MPEG-2) which is full of ‘ads’ and needs ‘cleaning up’ take a look at VideoRedo (a rather clever, albeit not free, bit of software which can guess ad-cutting out of a MPEG-2 source)
  • a DVB class recording you want to turn into an AVI (an hour of MPEG-2 is about 2GB, an hour of good quality AVI is about 700MB…) have a look at the AutoGK toolkit page
  • a DVB class recording you want on a DVD-R for standard DVD players - ConvertXtoDVD again

Ah, and after you’ve done all that, have the video file(s) in a format you want, and want to ‘burn it’ to CD/DVD, try out CDBurnerXP. It’s not perfect, but it is free, and will manage most straight-forward CD/DVD burning jobs…

Last but not least - media players - over M$ media player ‘bloatware’ and ‘I’ll get back to you right after I’ve failed downloading yet another video codec’ messages yet? - try GOM Player or VLC Media Player instead. Both very good (and free) primary media players, each with their own strength.

Getting ‘into’ Anger

I dont’ know about you but I’m not a great fan of anger.

Not sure why - think it might be that it’s destructive rather than constructive - for both yourself and ‘the other’ (the ‘target’) - anger on a personal level…

Personally I was ‘lucky’ in some ways - didn’t really ’see’ anger until I was in my mid 30’s - the luck in this is there’s a real comparison for me - kind of the pre-anger and post-anger view of my world…

Anger, of course, is a valid (albeit not very positive) human emotion - we all ‘get into’ the anger experience, at some time, in my estimation. What I’m interested in is pressing reason, or intellect, against emotion in exploring where anger ‘fits’ (or not, as the case may be)…

Anger is a thing entrenched in the ‘me’ version of the world I think. A nice counter to that is the self-less version of the world… which is trickier to understand in my experience but more interesting, much happier, and certainly more fun!

Roughly:

  • You’re really entrenched in the ‘me’ view - see it operate when someone stamps on your foot, or really offends your sensibilities. You ‘have to react’, often in anger, to protect ‘you’. You’re really self-trained to think you are ‘it’ - ‘you against the world’ type of thing - gotta defend ‘me’…
    I, me, me ,mine :-)
    I’m a solid ‘thing’ which exists… In all likelihood you’ve been brought up this way and much of western culture reinforces that outlook.
  • What about you don’t actually ‘exist’ at all (in a non-relational way) ? The ‘test’ for this is to try and break down the component parts of yourself and define where the ‘me’ is - you are your hand? or your liver? or generally the cells that make up your body? You are your ‘mind’? Where is your ‘mind’? Is your ‘mind’ the the cells that make up your brain? Tricky…
  • So you are nothing…? If you don’t ‘exist’ you are nothing, yes? By logic, not very likely - nothing comes from nothing? And returns to nothing? I don’t think so - it defies logic - matter can come from energy and vice-versa - the little we know ‘in science’ tells us this. Nothing doesn’t come from nothing, and things don’t ‘go to nothing’ - ‘things’ don’t ‘disappear’ - transform, yes, but they don’t just disappear. But you are probably not the ‘bits’ which make up the physical you…
  • If you accept that your body was ’something’ (loosely, in simplicity, ‘matter’) before you were born and returns to that ’something’ (again ‘matter’ and/or energy) after you die then it’s not a great leap to consider that your awareness (mind, or consciousness, or soul, or whatever - let’s not get hung up on the terminology) could be much the same.
  • Wormhole

  • So you were ’something’ before your physical/mind manifestation existed? And ‘they’ will still be ’something’ after you are ‘gone’? Seems completely reasonable given this flow of logic. ‘Matter’ arises and decays - a big sea of matter is out there - science tells us that - it constantly re-assembles, re-arranges, transforms…
  • Given it’s likely that most would agree awareness/conciousness is not simply ‘matter’ but something different, then I don’t think it’s too greater leap to consider a parallel ’sea of awareness’ - which likewise arises, decays, re-assembles, re-arranges and transforms. It likewise also probably doesn’t, however, ‘come from nothing’ or ‘go to nothing’. This is, though, I grant you, pretty non-intuitive. If you suspend dis-belief for a moment and think through the likely truth of this flow of thought though it is possible - and, in fact, it seems quite plausible…
  • The conclusion in this flow of argument is that there is some sort of continuum of awareness - and a parallel, or integrated, continuum of matter.
  • (and it gets really interesting if you’re able to articulate imagining this as my brother Kurt can…read and test every word - find one that doesn’t fit - isn’t necessary… this is the definition of articulate succinct creative communication)
  • Extrapolated thought would suggest you are a relational part of this continuum…. and the most interesting part, your awareness/conciousness, is just ‘in’ that sea of awareness - and that is the ‘real’ you. It existed before you were born and will still be there after you are dead… not as ‘you’ in the (fill in you with yourname) you today sense, but it will still be there… And,of course, everyone else is in that ’sea of reality’ too..
  • You are not real as ‘me’ in the current limited view of the ‘physio you’ sense - but your core reality, and truth, is that you are a real part of the infinitely inter-connected continuum of awareness…
  • The next step is a little tricky (well is for me anyway) - In the ‘we are all an inter-connected continuum of awareness’ - “bliss, void, indivisable” - the things which naturally arise are Love, compassion and empathy - transcendence of self to selflessness - human-ness - creativity - sharing - ‘the human spirit’ - the ’soul’ of conciousness…

This is my amateur attempt at an incomplete summary (and due to my limited understanding probably quite inadequate) of this little chain of Buddhist philosophy. An important aside is that Buddhist philosophy is truly self-referential - in that, only you can understand your understanding of it - my limited understanding or explanations, or any doctrine, or any dogma, are not your understanding - the key is you must find the path to truth and reality (your understanding).

One of the neat things about all of this is - in my somewhat, as yet, ignorant view - it seems to accord reasonably well with most theologies. I grant you, you have to dispense with a lot of tradition, inane detail, doctrine, and other dogmatic crap to arrive at that view… But it’s difficult to find a spiritual tradition which doesnt contain the core components of the infinite, a continuum, Love and compassion as core, and subsequently moral ethics and seeking fundamental (self-understood) truth as central themes…

‘Rabbiting on’…

I imagined I hear you say “yeah, yeah Shaun…”, with a little sigh, “and is there a point to all of this… stuff?”

Hmmm… thinking…

“Oh yes!” he says confidently, buying time to catch the thought train back to the original station…

In anger, it seems to me, one is reinforcing a very narrow view, that “me is against the world” view (even if in the emotion you are only doing the minutely personal view of ‘me is against so and so’).

A perspective

If you explore the intellectual, reality, & perspective options and find some truth in a continuum of awareness, a shared space, it becomes relatively easy (he says with the same level of confidence as a train returning to the ‘original thought station’) to put yourself in the other “person’s shoes”… the exchange of self and other…

When you can do that, I would suggest, it’s difficult to be angry with them - they, after all, are here in reality just like you - well maybe not ‘just like you’ :) - but in this ’shared space’ - a truth of shared essence - of Love, compassion, empathy - a human mind in infinite conciousness - in the ‘pool’ - experiencing the human condition.

At that point it’s difficult to ‘accuse them’ of anything - e.g. falling into the trap of ‘delusion’, ’self-pride’, or whatever other slightly bent emotion they are projecting at you that you happen to be reacting (in anger) to…

Didn’t you experience just such an emotion last week!?

Did you manage not to project it at someone else?

Phew! Now even I’m not sure whether there’s a main point to all of this - think I’ll leave that to you to work out for yourself :-P

with thanks:
to Paco CT and Bob.Fornal for photos;
friends who fed back on a very
‘drafty’ early bit of these scribblings; and
again, to Bob, for my understanding
(yet incomplete, of course, but that’s my problem)
of Buddhist philosophy.
Celebrate!

Dharma for One

I was just sitting outside admiring ‘mother earth’, soaking up ‘father sun’, and cutting my toe nails - yep, an auspicious start to another blog article :)

Immediate thought was - maybe I should post this over on ‘Buggered if I Know‘ because I can just feel it - it’s ‘gonna’ end up being a bit of a wandering, ‘but what would I know’ type of post…

Dharma the catIn soaking up the sun it can make even more immediate the ‘Jewel Tree of Tibet‘ visualisation - not only can one visualise enlightened ones sending Jewel Light, you can imagine and feel it filling you up and it over-flowing in thanks to everyone you wish to send happiness to. Of course it wouldn’t be me if I was suggesting that you might do this in only one context - descriptively in this case via Tibetan Buddhism - you might, in my opinion, just as easily have this feeling of sharing a blessed universal Love in a Christian context, or Hinduism, or even as a secular humanist. In short, if you invoke your soul it would actually take effort to miss it.

A dear friend of mine mentioned that her family sometimes ‘accuses’ her (half in jest I’m sure) of living too much in the present.
Ha!
In an ‘aspiring logician’ mode my response was “I’d love to know what the alternative is!?”. By logic you can’t live in the future, or the past. By just about anyone’s judgement, ‘living in the past’ is not considered a very positive personal attribute. And if you tell too many people you think you live in the future there’s a possibility some might doubt your sanity :-)

But in this ‘world’ that is exactly where the commercially driven, or others, of a ‘materialist’ nature, want you to be - in your ‘acquiring’ future. “Ooh I’ll be happy when I get the latest model car, the newest Nokia phone, or that ‘all age’ curing skin cream”. We’ve all had the experience of ‘getting’ these ‘new things’ and… for, exactly, how long did this ‘new thing’ make you happy?

But in a commercial sense it’s great - ‘I want’ - ka-ching! - ‘I need’ - ka-ching! - ‘but so and so has’ - ka ching! - money in the till - profit barons of the world unite :)
(if you’re interested in the history of psychology used in marketing over the past 80 odd years check out Adam Curtis’ documentary series - A Century of The Self)

On another level, I’ll be happy if… (fill in the blank) “I get a new boy/girlfriend, we have a baby, get married, I get a new job, I ________ …”

Ever noticed that you are completely happy right up until the moment you ask yourself - “how happy am I?” - you were completely happy in the moment, right up to the point when you tried to ‘get into’ the future, or the past, of ‘how happy am I?’ :)

It’d be a reasonable suggestion, in my humble opinion, that you are far more happy when your explorations as a human being yields a path of learning, (and hence my title reference to Dharma), sharing, in truth, in reality… actually exercising that awesome ‘computing power’ of the mind you have been blessed with by birth. You could die tomorrow, or today…

Really… at that point you’ve got to admit, surely, in the “one more moment to live” scenario - that it’s ‘a tad more taxing’, and rewarding, to be working out what really makes you, your Loved ones, your friends (and enemies incidentally) really, truly, happy… Sure beats the value of working out what new features Nokia have included in their ’shiny new phone’ - to, no doubt, ensure you get ’skinned in fees’ on O2’s 3G network :)

…some lovely lyrics ‘on topic’ which came my way recently - ‘Leaf and Stream‘…

Honestly, this isn’t rocket science, is it?…

You get the choice - stay on the ‘treadmill’ of new phones and life enhancing skin creams - or - spend a little time working out where you ‘fit’ and how you can Love yourself and your friends & family with intensity - today… just a reminder, you may be dead tomorrow…
(and for a completely different take on ‘death’ check out the film What Dreams May Come if you’re so inclined)

And death is just another ‘real’ part of life… but what would I know? :-)

with thanks to:
- Ian Anderson for the title,
- Bob Thurman for my little understanding of Buddhist Dharma,
- friends and family for patience and Love…, and
- davidreid & kiddharma for photo’s (here & here)
oh, and that reminds me about “Dharma the Cat” cartoons

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